Anonymous asked: How is your love life with all the travelling?
Sometimes I consider myself a romantic, and sometimes I consider myself just plain selfish, and there are clear reasons why.
You see, for a person like me, a love life is not something I should be messing around with. I move around constantly, I don’t have a connected cell phone half of the year, I don’t have Facebook, and I’m generally not someone you would call ‘chatty’.
I don’t even have friends anymore, not real ones anyways. Friends are not something that you can have when the titles of emails you receive from people you went to University with are: ‘Are You Still Alive? And If So, Where Do You Live?’ (actual title of an email I received). I have my one friend, my best friend, who I have known for my entire adult life and I can always count on her, but I am still not a part of her regular life.
So love is something I should stay away from. Short term romances can only end in pain, and while making connections and friends all over the world is amazing, most of them are short term connections that don’t last.
Notice my use of the word ‘should’ in the previous paragraph?
Perhaps it is our humanly nature to need to feel loved and wanted and desired, or maybe I just don’t like always being alone. But love is something I cannot stay away from. I go travelling, and I fall in love with the interesting girl from Sweden who likes the way I listen to her or finds me funny. Or I fall for the Dutch girl who loves sports and bikes everywhere she goes.
But the worst kind of love? The most dangerous kind? When I fall in love after coming home again. That love is the hardest because I have more time with them, I have whole months dedicated to our relationship with that hope in her mind that maybe I will stay for her, or maybe she can come along with me. But in the end, I end up leaving them. Not because I want to, but because I have to. It is the life I have chosen and it is what keeps me happy and motivated. As much as I may cherish her love, I need to keep exploring.
I am being selfish every time I fall in love, and I know that, yet I continue to do it. I only end up hurting someone. So what do I do? I continue travelling and I continue falling in love.